Last night hv a long talk v my uncle.. again.. really feel like moving out.. this house is not him n not mine.. he also wanna move out after this.. so do i… but he want me to stay v him after he moves.. but i dont think i'll.. from the 1st day i know i'll be study in PJ, i dy told my parents that i dont like to stay v relatives.. i really dont like to bcoz this'll make our relationship getting bad if staying together and we cant use to each other living style.. but bcoz of wanna save my parents money n i dowan get too much money from them, i stay v my uncle at here..

I can surely said that my uncle really sayang me n care me.. since i'm kids, he dy very sayang me n treat me like his own younger sister… i appreciate it.. So, until now i'm still thinking to move out stay v my fren or continue stay v him.. bcoz i also dowan to leave him alone.. but we hv different living style.. hard to stay together.. he is right, we can give in woth each other.. but why must live until so hard?? I really feel so stress staying here and staying v him.. bcoz 1st thing is this is my aunty's house, if anything goes wrong or spoilt in her house, when she come back, will she blame us?? ; 2nd is i'm so scare that my uncle was not happy, if my frenz here will he not happy or not.. etc.. i think i must discuss with my parents about i wanna move out, if they agree with me, i'll move out to stay v my fren..

Another thing.. i dont like what he think i'm gonna be.. i'm myself.. i'll go on my own life.. although the road full of trouble that will make me falls.. i'm willing to face it myself.. i'll fall and stand up by myself.. ya, i know that he was for my own good, he dowan me to go the same trouble, problems like him used to last time when he studied.. i cant accept his love notion.. and what he should know is not every1 like him.. i know how i'm gonna face it… and i'm not that person who will totally fall bcoz of love; how he think of treat ppl good.. this was ___ donno how to say.. i know he scare i'll being bully or what but i'm not kids.. ok??

Why dont i tell him all this when he siad to me?? No meaning to tell a person that already hv their own thinking.. and everyone hv their own view.. my uncle was good to me, just.. i cant accept his "thinking manner".. i wanna be myself.. Since i'm kids i dy very independent (just dont like to be lonely — this not concider as dependent).. my parents never worried about my studies bcoz i'll do it myself.. dont need their press me to do my work.. i'm quite playful sometimes, but i know the limit..

If my dear uncle see this blog, i'll say sorry bcoz i not telling him all this feeling when we talk.. i wanna be a good girl, but i'm more prefer to be myself.. i know what i'm doing.. sorry for alwz disturbing u.. and i know i also did many things wrong, i'll change it.. thanks a lot..

Suddenly found out his song suit to this blog.. so, jz add in this lyrics here.. from MayDay五月天

憨人

曲：阿信 | 詞：阿信 | 編：五月天


我的心內感覺 人生的沉重 不敢來振動
我不是好子 嘛不是歹人 我只是愛眠夢
我不願隨浪隨風 飄浪西東 親像船無港
我不願做人 奸巧鑽縫 甘願來作憨人
我不是頭腦空空 我不是一隻米蟲
人啊人 一世人 要安怎歡喜 過春夏秋冬
我有我的路 有我的夢
夢中的那個世界 甘講伊是一場空
我走過的路 只有希望
希望你我講過的話 放在心肝內
總有一天 看到滿天全金條 要煞無半項
環境來戲弄 背景無夠強 天才無夠弄
逐項是攏輸人 只好看破這虛華
不怕路歹行 不怕大雨淋 心上一字敢
面對我的夢 甘願來作憨人